being sick with a cold in the heat of summer is not fun

really wishing i had a functioning tv right now

murmurs of sunlit pale

sadness for what i will not feel, cannot feel

the loveliness in everything makes me cry

and yet even when overwhelmed with the loveliness of things, i can't help feeling sad. as though it's all leading up to some impending nothingness. of which i am afraid and yet not afraid enough.

warm sunshine is lovely

i want splendor and magnificence. i feel as though i'm living out the middle of some tragic novel.