tonight

tonight, i sat in my car in the parking lot until i felt cold. and then i put on my coat. the stereo has a crackle, circular, in waves. less and then more, then gone, and then again. listening to songs that remind me of the past. it's raining. it's always raining when i feel something. threads tangled up with no ends. every raindrop i've ever felt, stretching in a line, a river, then a flood; wanted and unwanted. tonight watching the rain is like so many others.

letters

i could abandon this in a week, i have that tendency. i don't know what i want this blog to be really. maybe things that made me feel something. or remember. or a record of beautiful things, things i don't want to forget. or things that make me want to stay alive, mostly. or nothing at all. it's almost like a letter to everyone and no one at once.